


dont do drugs kids

by Siduki



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Fluff and Crack, Gift Fic, M/M, Recreational Drug Use, dont do drugs kids lol, furi is the purest cinnamon roll, i mean whatever u do u guys this could be taken seriously or not its cool, just because ur fave fictional kiddos are doing it doesnt mean u should as well, pls dont take this seriously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-10
Updated: 2016-07-10
Packaged: 2018-07-21 18:57:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7399741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Siduki/pseuds/Siduki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"smoke weed everyday"_snoop dog and probably also izuki</p>
            </blockquote>





	dont do drugs kids

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bruxism](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bruxism/gifts).



> madz i cant even begin to express how much i adore u! our friendship may only be two or so months old but u have always been there for me and while ur always doubting the fact that ur a wonderful person i know u are a fantastic friend! 
> 
> pls enjoy this crappy story about drugs and gay bois, love ya daddy madz <3

_4:30 am_

 

PunPrince: WHATS UP SLUTS ANYONE DOWN TO GET HIGH

 

TheShadyKing: shun

 

PunPrince: fuck off you not lmaooooooo

 

BlackWidHoe: are u already high wtf

 

PunPrince: nooOooOoOoo OoOoOOoooOOOOoooooooo

 

TheShadyKing: shun have you forgotten im training to be a police officer 

 

PunPrince: nah i didnt forget hence why i said ' fuck off you not lmaooooooo'

 

BlackWidHoe: lol the fuckface has a point

 

BlackWidHoe: let him live Shoi pffft 

 

BlackWidHoe: hes probably gonna smoke some weed

 

PunPrince: yuP

 

BlackWidHoe: get high off his flat  ass maybe do the sex and then pass out in a ditch somewhere 

 

PunPrince: YUP

 

PunPrince: no wait not the passing out in a ditch part that's never good hahaha 

 

PunPrince: tHIS ONE TIME I GOT HIGH WITH HIMURO AND KAGAMI and I woke up in Toronto funny story hahahaha 

 

AkashiSeijuurou: But Toronto is in Canada?

 

PunPrince: yeah hahaha...

 

AkashiSeijuurou: Is that the funny part?

 

PunPrince: no the funny part is i saw my ex boyfriend at the airport and he told me he still loved me and then he ate my ass like a cupcake but i still broke up with him because im a heart breakerrrrrrr~

 

BlackWidHoe: what the actual fuck is wrong with u

 

PunPrince: im crazy lel xD

 

TheShadyKing: jfc ur lucky ur cute because ur cringe as fuck

 

PunPrince: <3

 

PunPrince: anyways im totally gonna get high off my flat ass and maybe do the sex 

 

PunPrince: i mean the high part not the flat butt part because y'all know i got a plump ass on me

 

TheShadyKing: i know :-) 

 

PunPrince: go and handcuff ur dick to your ear omg

 

TheShadyKing: no i dont think im flexible enough for that 

 

AkashiSeijuurou: Think?

 

TheShadyKing: Makoto and i can try 

 

TheShadyKing: wanna come over and be flexible with me?

 

BlackWidHoe: =_= go die

 

Taco: U KNOW I GOTTA HAND IT TO HANAMEME

 

Taco: dealing with imayoshit must be awful 

 

Taco: it must rlly take a toll on ur body

 

Taco: I bet hanameme has dem stressed out wrinkles

 

Taco: got dat grey hair

 

Taco: dem saggy titties

 

PunPrince: YAS bae call him out 

 

BlackWidHoe: wow um BITCH what

 

TheShadyKing: I mean he's right about the first two Makoto is as wrinkly as an elephant tbh 

 

BlackWidHoe: *=_= intensifies*

 

TheShadyKing: and ur hair is honestly a mess

 

PunPrince: IKR is it green? Is it black? IS IT GREY? WHO KNOWS?!?!?

 

BlackWidHoe: its obviously black dont be a stupid

 

PunPrince: dont stupid shame me

 

TheShadyKing: but i can vouch for the last one and even tho Makoto doesnt restrict his wonderful breasts to the prison that is those bras with underwire his tits are still glorious and perky and overall wonderful and not at all saggy 

 

BlackWidHoe: lol um thanks shoi 

 

TheShadyKing: np 

 

Taco: imayoshit

 

Taco: what the actual fucking heck is wrong with you

 

PunPrince: YOU DIRTYY MOUTH _*gasps*_

 

TheShadyKing: in the words of shun _'im crazy lel xD'_

 

Taco: no I said heck

 

PunPrince: OH!!!! 

 

PunPrince: then its fine

 

Taco: of course it is because I said so 

 

BlackWidHoe: if fuckin Izuki makes my boyfriend go through his scene phase again im gonna unleash a pigeon on his ass or something 

 

Taco:  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

Izuki:  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

Taco:  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

BlackWidHoe: oh jfc go and fuckin smoke ur weed and leave me alone

 

PunPrince: kayyyyyyy

 

AkashiSeijuurou: Oh my lord how did this conversation even get here?

 

Taco: well it started off with shun wanting to get high

 

BlackWidHoe: AT FOUR AM WHO TF DOES THAT

 

PunPrince: I the fuck does that

 

BlackWidHoe: cant u get high like any other normal person at like noon or some shit

 

AkashiSeijuurou: Wait you've smoked pot before?

 

BlackWidHoe: yeah duh you havent lmao

 

AkashiSeijuurou: No, I've never smoked marijuana and I'd like to keep it that way.

 

TheShadyKing: its a cool experience man ur missing out

 

FuriKou: omg why are you guys always up at such strange times

 

BlackWidHoe: shut the fuck up

 

FuriKou: omg okay I'm sorry

 

PunPrince: FURI MA SON

 

PunPrince: wanna go smoke some POT at kagamis 

 

FuriKou: SENPAI NO WE HAVE A GAME IN THREE HOURS U CANT GO AND GET HIGH 

 

PunPrince: you cant with that attitude

 

FuriKou: SENPAI WHERE R U

 

PunPrince: in the elevator of kagamis building

 

FuriKou: STAY THERE IM COMING TO GET U

 

PunPrince: no lol go away furi

 

PunPrince: aaaaaaaaand hes offline fuck me

 

TheShadyKing:   ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

TheShadyKing: since i don't have class today ill join u in getting high as well 

 

PunPrince: NO WTF GO AWAY

 

TheShadyKing: maybe ill get lucky and we can have sex while we're high~

 

BlackWidHoe: the only high youre gonna be today is when i dismember your worthless man whore body and throw all the pieces off of the Tokyo tower 

 

TheShadyKing: O.o

 

Taco: DAMN HANAMEME IS HARDCORE 

 

Taco: well im gonna go head over to kagamis and try to peer pressure furi into smoking the weed ™

 

Taco: dont do drug kids lmao 

 

AkashiSeijuurou: (How ironic.)

 

AkashiSeijuurou: And I thought my other self was graphic. Hanamiya you are truly something else. 

 

BlackWidHoe: thx lol 

 

AkashiSeijuurou: Anyways since it's our last night in this hotel, which is coincidentally near Kagami's apartment, I'll check out this 'pot party' as well.

 

TheShadyKing: i can't wait to see mr proper ass akashi getting all fucked up 

 

AkashiSeijuurou: I won't get 'fucked up'! I'm just going to check things out!

 

TheShadyKing: Sure Jan.

 

BlackWidHoe: damn haras not awake 

 

BlackWidHoe: how tf am i supposed to get fucked up before homeroom

 

TheShadyKing: i know a way~

 

BlackWidHoe: no

 

TheShadyKing:   ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

 

BlackWidHoe: nO

 

TheShadyKing:   ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

 

BlackWidHoe: NO

 

TheShadyKing:   ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

BlackWidHoe: i fucking hate you

 

TheShadyKing: I'll take that as a yes! :-) see you at seirins aces house in five!

 

* * *

 

 

Furihata panted loudly as he slumped against Kagami's door for a moment before throwing his weight against it.

 

"Kagami! He shouted. "Let me in!"

 

Furihata could clearly hear noises behind the door, laughing and shouting, and the smells -oh god the smells- Furihata sniffed the air as his nostrils eagerly let the delicious smell of Kagami's cooling tickle them, the smell of home cooked food nearly masking the smell of weed but not quite.

 

"One sec!" 

 

Furihata could hear the ace jog towards the door before opening it and Furihata didn't even try to balance himself, just let himself fall to the floor and whimper pathetically on his friends door may while his friend closed to door and went back to Kagami-ing.

 

"You better be the last one." Kagami grunted and Furihata raised his head confused.

 

“What.” Furihata said and turned his chihuaua looking head towards Kagami’s lounge where his _‘friends’_ were chilling and being illegal.

 

Izuki took a long hit from his bong and smiled a dopey smile at Furihata.

 

“You made it!”

 

“Shit.” Furihata said and flapped his arms agressively. “SHIT! Who the fuuuuuu-heck gave him weed?”

 

Kagami panicked and ran into the kitchen to avoid Furihata’s wrath.

 

Kuroko was lying on the floor wearing nothing but something that looked suspiciously like Kagami’s shirt, mumbling about rainbows and fuck boys and cheese. Same to be honest.

 

Izuki was in Takao’s  lap on Kagami’s armchair and they both looked completely blissed out in their pajamas as they took turns taking hits and giggling to each other.

 

Akashi looked a little weirded out, he had a mildly disturbed expression on his handsome face,, as he sat on Kagami’s couch with his legs tucked underneath him wearing an expensive looking silk robe over his equally expensive looking pajamas.

 

Akashi caught Furihata’s eye and waved and pet the seat next to him, making Furihata laugh with his cheesiness. Furihata slipped right next to his crush and smiled shyly at the red head.

 

“Are you-?” Furihata couldn’t even get his whole sentence out before Akashi shook his head and laughed. At the sound of Akashi’s voice Takao started giggling hysterically, burying his face in Izuki’s neck to try and stifle his amusement. His best friend had a sketchbook balanced on Takao’s head and was lazily doodling.

 

“Am I high? Short answer. No. Long answer. No, but I do have a slight interest in smoking some marijuana right now. I just wanted to wait until someone more sensible was here to get _‘fucked up’_.”

 

Izuki dropped his sketchbook and screamed with laughter at Akashi’s air quotes. Takao joined him in laughing and they both looked on the verge of tears as they giggled hysterically. No doubt there, they were obviously higher than a kite. Like a kite that was really really far up in the air. Like so far you looked up and then had to double check if that was a kite or some sorta fucked up cloud. Uh…anyways…yeah they were as high as kites.

 

Furihata flinched at the loud noise and Kuroko startled awake, got up, glared at Izuki and trudged slowly towards the kitchen to bitch to his boyfriend.

 

“Taiga-kun are you done cooking yet? I’m hungry. I want to sleep. Why did you make me smoke that?”

 

“WHAT??? I didn’t make you do anything! Here have this spring roll from last night. The eggs won’t be done for a couple more minutes so when you’re done with that spring roll um just suck on your thumbg or something.”

Kuroko took the spring roll with a mumbled “thank you” and put it in his mouth and curled up on the floor as he sucked on the roll before chewing on it loudly looking like a mini blue Murasakibara.

 

“Did you give them weed??? Please tell me that you didn’t give them weed.” Furihata hoped that he didn’t sound or looked as worried as he looked. The last thing he needed right now was Akashi to catch him looking hideous and stressed out.

 

“No…TECHNICALLY,” (Furihata groaned loudly) “it’s Himuro’s shit. Not like his actual crappy shit, that’s gross, but he once dated this guy back in America, super weird but really hot, who gets the best grass ever I swear.”

 

“I learned the hard way that grass doesn’t mean what I thought it meant.” Akashi said quitely and Furihata laughed and nudged him lightly.

 

“You thought it meant actual grass?”

 

“Yeah! Hahaha, funny story, one time Mayuzumi-“

 

The knocking on the door interrupted Akashi’s story and Furihata pouted slightly because he had really wanted to hear the story, well he didn’t really want to hear any story about Mayuzumi truth be told, he just wanted to hear Akashi’s voice

 

“I’ll get it.” Akashi called and Kagami grunted from the kitchen as the red head slipped his feet into his expensive looking slippers and padded his way towards the door, slippers making little to no noise on the wood floors.

 

Akashi peered through the peep hole (he had to stand on his tip toes how precious) and he reluctantly opened the door and moved away from the door as Hanamiya burst into Kagami’s apartment and marched straight up to the ace.

 

“Weed. Now.” He demanded. Imayoshi followed his boyfriend into the apartment and looked around before joining Kuroko on the floor.

 

“Sooooo, you come here often?”

 

Kuroko made a sleepy noise before grabbing Imayoshi’s nose and looking at it like it was the most interesting thing in the world.

 

“Alright okay um that’s my nose, uh alright I won’t nose shame you.”

 

“No weed for you because I fucking hate you.” Kagami said flatly.

 

“WHAT? THAT’S BULLYING! Gimme that weed or I’ll stab you.”

 

Akashi and Furihata watched the scene go down in the kitchen with amusement.

 

“I had sex with Junpei last night.” Izuki declared at Takao twisted his head like a hawk to watch his friend tell his story.

 

“And Teppei watched and we’re gonna do the same with Yoshi, y’know bring him over so he can watch and join in-“

 

Furihata tuned out the rest of Izuki’s story knowing that his precious innocent ears shouldn’t be hearing that kind of PG-13 nonsense.

 

“Pay me. I’ll give you my-“

 

“Himuro-san’s.” Kuroko reminded his boyfriend, still infatuated with Imayoshi’s nose much to the ex captains pleasure.

 

“Pay me and I’ll give you Tatsuya’s weed.” Kagami corrected himself. Hanamiya glared at him before his hands moved to his waist before he cursed loudly.

 

“Fuck!” Hanamiya shouted and Izuki paused his story to glare at him. “I forgot my damn pants at home!”

 

On further inspection Hanamiya indeed wasn’t wearing ‘pants’. He was wearing a pair of boxers paired up with his hoodie which was quite a bold fashion choice.

 

“Shoi do you have any money?”

 

“No.” Imayoshi whispered, trying not to speak too loudly, not wanting to scare away the cute boy just inches away from his face.

 

“Fuck! FUCK FUCK FUCK! Shit…I need to get high, damnit…”

 

“Show him your tits.” Takao drawled and Furihata squeaked. “Boobs are honestly a better payment than money am I right?”

 

“Right.” Imayoshi breathed and even Akashi nodded which made Furihata squeak louder.

 

Hanamiya sucked his teeth looking deep in thought for a moment before seeingly coming to an agreement with the voices in his head and pulled his hoodie off and tossed his shirt to the side and unhooked his bra swiftly and voila, his boob prison, aka his bra, joined the rest of his clothes on the floor.

 

Hanamiya put his hands on his curvy hips and twisted from side to side, eyes narrowed as he watched Kagami’s expression change from bored bordering on irritated to shocked bordering on aroused.

 

“Damn… _DAMN_ …” Kagami kept raising and dropping his hands like he was gonna touch but then remember that Hanamiya would eat his hands for breakfast if he touched without permission.

 

“Mhm I know. You caught me a few days before my period. They might look like D cups but don’t be a fucking dumbass. I’m a B cup usually.”

 

Kagami drooled completely ignoring the titty talk.

 

“Take all my weed…” He murmured.

 

“Himuro-san’s weed!” Kuroko said again and let go of Imayoshi’s nose much to his disapointment.

 

“Can I touch-“

 

“Back up you fucking tiger, weed first, groping second. Furi, Akashit, over here! We need to get your asses fucked up. I heard sparks fly and shit when you’re high. Let’s test this shit out!”

 

* * *

 

 

Akashi pushed Furihata against the door of the bathroom and parted his lips with ease, slipping his toongue into the brunet’s mouth and moaning as Furihata’s grabby hands grabbed Akashi’s pert ass as they made out.

 

“You, are very high right now.” Akashi pointed out and Furihata would’ve argued a couple hits ago but right now all he wanted was to lie down and keep making out with Akashi.

 

“S-so are you.” Furihata mumbled and whimpered a sweet whimper as Akashi gathered him in his strong arms and squuezed the smaller boy in a tight affectionate hug as he planted a deep wet kiss on Furihata’s lips as he chuckled.

 

“You’re higher than me.” Akashi said in a teasing lilting voice and Furihata ducked his head, trying to hde his blush. “You took four hits and I only took three.”

 

Furihata buried jis face in Akashi’s chest, inhaling deeply and expecting to smell Akash’s handsome boyish clean scent but instead recoiling in surprise as he realized that golden boy Akashi Seijuurou reeked of marijuana.

 

“Oh no…” Akashi murmured as he pushed Furihata away before grabbing a fistful of his pajama shirt and sniffed before groaning loudly.

 

“Reo’s gonna kill me.” Akashi moaned and groaned as he flopped onto Kagami’s guest bed.

 

The sound of Akashi groaning nearly, but not quite, masked the sound of Izuki screaming and Hanamiya moaning and Kagami shouting in an alarmed fashion and strangely enough the sound of Nigou yipping. Furihata hoped to God the dog wasn't high too.

 

“Hey, you don’t gotta go back to your t-team tonight.” Furihata said and cursed both his stuttering and his sudden light headedness as he lied down next to his crush.

 

Furihata wondered if it was a side effect of the weed or if he was just high off of Akashi. How lame.

 

“You can stay with me.” Furihata murmured into Akashi’s ear as he felt his eyes slips shut. “We can move in togethor and I’ll never let you go. I mean I’ll let you go when you go to the bathroom obviously and when you want some alone time I’ll let you go and-“

 

Akashi held up a hand and laughed at the flustered looking boy.

 

“You’re a special one Kouki.”

 

“Thanks S-sei?”

 

Akashi leaned over and pushed a lock of Furihata’s hair behind a tan slightly freckled here and proceeded to kiss said freckle.

 

“Now, tell me more about us living together and you never leaving me alone, save for the occasional moment.”

 

“W-well, I was thinking we could adopt a lot of dogs and we could move into an apartment, really high up because I wanna get over my fear of heights, and we can make enchiladas every night and-“

 

“Why restrict that dish to only dinner? Enchiladas for breakfast, lunch and dinner!”

 

Furihata’s stomach growled as he tried to cover it up with a giggle and placed his hand over Akashi’s.

 

“Mhmmm yes, but we’ll get bored of them every night so m-maybe we can switch it up s-sometimes?”

 

“Taco’s.” Akashi said seriously and rested his head on Furihata’s shoulder and closed his arms around the brunet’s waist. “And um, other food, not just Mexican.”

 

Furihata laughed and held Akashi close.

 

“This better not be a weed dream I’m having-“ Furihata murmured and closed his eyes as he rested his head on Akashi’s wonderful -red like blood but more appealing to look at-head.


End file.
